Hi all, I don't know why I haven't been inspired to blog, I guess it's because there is really nothing new to report. I haven't even been reading the blogs much, but caught up with a few this morning.
I'm still maintaining my weight withing five pounds of my original 160 pounds which I'm very happy about, but I've been a little out of control with the eating lately and feeling like old habits are starting again. I have absolutely no restriction. I was able to eat 3 slices of pizza and a serving of salad the other night and probably could have had another slice, but stopped myself. I realize it's time to go in for another small fill. I'm very, very scared of another slip and also, i must admit, I'm a little afraid of not being able to eat well again. I mean i love not being able to eat much and getting full fast, but I hate not being able to eat the breads and shrimp and steak and things like that. I hope the fill will give me restriction and limit the amount i can eat, but not what I am able to eat. But most importantly, I pray I won't slip again.
I scheduled myself for a fill on May 11th at $200. Wow!! This is my first paid fill since my one year is up. If it is too tight or not tight enough, i can go back within 7 days for free, but after that it's another $200, so I hope I can get a little restriction. I figure if I've been maintaining without any, a little should help me get back to a little more weight loss.
Funny thing, I'm only like five pounds above my lowest weight and I feel totally fat. It's funny how the mind works, I look at my stomach and to me it looks like it's getting huge again (my stomach has always been my problem area). I know I'm no where near where i used to be and all my clothes still fit me fine, my smallest (size 8) I don't wear anymore because they are just too uncomfortable, but they were always tight. All my other clothes fit fine, so I know this is all in my head, but it's terrible how we get accustomed to our new bodies and then start feeling fat again instead of feeling good like we did when we were loosing all the weight. I need to try to get my head on straight and change that way of thinking because it's really bad. Does anyone else who has been at the same weight for a while have this same problem or is it just me?
This has been a bit of a rough month for me, dealing with issues with my son and a bully at school and hubby and i haven't been getting along much lately, so it's been a bit of a depressing month, but I hope it will all turn around.
Have a great day!
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I am with you. I was down three pounds below where I am now and am feeling fat at the moment.
ReplyDeleteI hope you and your hubs can work things out...and that the bully changes schools!!!
Yes, I talk about this quite often. Let's say I lose 5 lbs I will look in the mirror and feel good about myself, but if I stay there at that same weight too long I will see myself as fat again. My mind is totally messed up, I've been pretty steady around 166lbs and I feel fine. The instant I go up to 170 which is only 4lbs more I won't want to go anywhere, and I feel huuuuuuuge again!!!! People are always telling me I'm sm. now, but I don't see it!! Now it's time for me to get my head fixed!! LOL. Good Luck w/the fill. I'm at good restrictiona again since my unfill after my slip. I actually have more cc's in my band than I did before the slip and I'm doing just fine.
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