Another Update...

Hi all, I don't know why I haven't been inspired to blog, I guess it's because there is really nothing new to report. I haven't even been reading the blogs much, but caught up with a few this morning.

I'm still maintaining my weight withing five pounds of my original 160 pounds which I'm very happy about, but I've been a little out of control with the eating lately and feeling like old habits are starting again. I have absolutely no restriction. I was able to eat 3 slices of pizza and a serving of salad the other night and probably could have had another slice, but stopped myself. I realize it's time to go in for another small fill. I'm very, very scared of another slip and also, i must admit, I'm a little afraid of not being able to eat well again. I mean i love not being able to eat much and getting full fast, but I hate not being able to eat the breads and shrimp and steak and things like that. I hope the fill will give me restriction and limit the amount i can eat, but not what I am able to eat. But most importantly, I pray I won't slip again.

I scheduled myself for a fill on May 11th at $200. Wow!! This is my first paid fill since my one year is up. If it is too tight or not tight enough, i can go back within 7 days for free, but after that it's another $200, so I hope I can get a little restriction. I figure if I've been maintaining without any, a little should help me get back to a little more weight loss.

Funny thing, I'm only like five pounds above my lowest weight and I feel totally fat. It's funny how the mind works, I look at my stomach and to me it looks like it's getting huge again (my stomach has always been my problem area). I know I'm no where near where i used to be and all my clothes still fit me fine, my smallest (size 8) I don't wear anymore because they are just too uncomfortable, but they were always tight. All my other clothes fit fine, so I know this is all in my head, but it's terrible how we get accustomed to our new bodies and then start feeling fat again instead of feeling good like we did when we were loosing all the weight. I need to try to get my head on straight and change that way of thinking because it's really bad. Does anyone else who has been at the same weight for a while have this same problem or is it just me?

This has been a bit of a rough month for me, dealing with issues with my son and a bully at school and hubby and i haven't been getting along much lately, so it's been a bit of a depressing month, but I hope it will all turn around.

Have a great day!

Out from hiding...

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been away for a while. Just been really busy and preoccupied. Nothing to do with my band just my son is having some issues with a bulley at school and we've been trying to get some things taken care of. Anyway, as far as my band goes, I don't even know it's there. I have been maintaining my weight between 160 and 165, mostly closer to 165, but last week I stepped on the scale and it was 159 and I almost passed out. I can't say I'm really watching what I eat, but I try to not overeat and I'm still pretty good at knowing when to stop. I guess it's something I learned from my band. Thank God it stuck. Sometimes when I'm on the up side, I think about going to get a fill, but when I'm doing good, I think I'll just stay with it how it is. I still have a fear of getting too tight and having it slip again, not to mention it's going to be expensive for the fills and unfills now and money is a little tight right now. IDK, if I ever go over 165 I think I'll be right in to see the doctor. But for now, I'm doing fine. I haven't been on the blog much to read what's going on with everyone, but I plan to do a little at a time and see what you all have been up to. I'll blog again soon. Until then, have a great weekend.

Missing in action

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been missing for over a week now. I've been super busy and to be honest, I kind of forget I even have a band sometimes now. It's not constantly reminding me it's there, so I don't think about it constantly anymore. I need to keep myself posting and reading.

I am doing great, no issues at all since my last fill. I've done surprisingly well, I feel, considering no restriction and can eat anything. I do bounce around from about 162 to 165. I get terrified when the scale goes up to 164, 165 and really start to watch it. I'm there now, I weighed in this morning and am 164. So I'm going to really watch what I eat and try to get back down to 162.

I think often about the next fill. I have mixed feelings, being #1 I had so many problems with my band and if surgery was going to be the fix, was leaning towards taking it out. So i tell myself, I'm here, try and and maintain this weight and don't play around with it or you might do it again and need surgery again.

#2. I think, why have it if you can't let it help you with your weight loss. But I don't want to live the way I was. I think I could probably go in and take a couple very small fills untill I get just past the point of this bandster hell situation. It would be nice to be reminded that he (my band) is still in my tummy somewhere.

I guess I'll just keep plugging along here the way I am and in a month or two think about what I want to do. Right now, I'm just super happy, doing super good.

Sorry to hear that Tiffany and Sarah are having some issues, I've been there and I think waited a lot longer than you guys to figure out the problem and my band fixed itself. Glad you both got in to see the doctor and are getting the problem solved.

Have a great week.

I've Been A Very Bad Girl

Well, been trying to get back on track after a very bad, bad superbowl day. Went to a party and they had so much food, good food (not good for you food)and I ate and I ate and I ate. I've had trouble getting back on track. Every day I start saying I'm going to be good today and I start off well, but have ended the evening with Ice Cream after dinner every night since then and popcorn as well last night. Oh, my this is hard. Afraid to step on the scale. Today is a new day and I vow to be good today!!

I'm dreaming of my next fill!!

Random Thoughts...

Hi there, all is well on my end. Still struggeling with controlling my appetite, but exercising and maintaining as best I can. Okay. So here are a few random things of no importance at all:

Why do some of the blog have funny characters? And i'm not talking about when someone is saying a curse word and putting funny characters for part of the word. I get it in the titles and the body. I think the word and is a common one. Does anyone else see this or is it just me??

What does DH mean?? I'm not that text savvay or blog savvy and I've figured out just about every other one but DH??? I think it means husband, but what does it stand for??

I saw a very overweight man struggle to get out of his car yesterday and I felt so bad for him, could almost cry. I remember what it's like to be large and it's so hard to just move. I remember how badly I felt about myself and my internal dialogue was not very nice. I remember looking for clothes and just buying anything that fit and didn't make me look any bigger than i already was. It's so hard to be overweight in our society and people are so judgemental. I think this weightloss journey has made me even more sympathetic to people who struggle with their weight just as I do and probably will for the rest of my life. Even though I'm at a weight that makes me happy, it's a constant reminder everyday and every meal as to making the right choices especially since my band is not helping right now. It does have a slight fill, so it must be doing a little something. It's kind of like bandster hell all over again.

Did you watch Oprah the other day about our food today and how most of our foods are processed and even our meat is bad for us and full of antibiotics? Really made me think. I think I need to look more closely at the food I buy and what's in it. I can't remember the name of the movie or book, but I should pick up a copy and read more about this.

Even though i'm struggeling with my eating, I love being and feeling like a normal person. The other night I went to bed and layed on my stomach as i usually do and realized I haven't used a pillow to prop up one side of my body because it lessens the discomfort of my band and helps with the acid reflux. I've been sleeping like the old days since my unfill over a month ago and able to eat anything I want and it feels so good. It gives me an idea of where I want my fill to be when that time comes. Able to eat anything, just less of it. Isn't that what the band is supposed to do?? I think I was a little greedy the first time around, I wanted that quick weight loss.

Sorry for all the babble.....Have I told you?? I love my band!!!

Hi.

I keep wanting to post, but don't really have much new to post about. I'm feeling great, all my stomach and digestion problems seem to have passed with my increased amount of fiber in my diet. I still have a bit of trouble with constipation (sorry TMI), but it's not intollerable.

I'm eating normally and have absolutly no restriction at all. I am eating quite a lot and hungry a lot. Late afternoon and night time snacking is the worst for me. I have gained 5 pounds and feeling a bit depressed about it. I understand why i've gained though, it's like I can eat again and I want to try everything I have not been able to eat for the last six or so months. Such a bad attitude to have. I have decided I need to start controlling what I eat and really watch my portions. 5 pounds isn't much to loose, so i need to get serious and get back to my goal weight.

I have to admit, I keep thinking about when I can get another slight fill. I know what I said, I said I'd like to stay here after all my problems with slippage and all, but if I have no restriction, I can probably get another slight fill. Dr. said to wait at least 2 monts before I see him again and, of course, now it will cost me $200 a pop for each fill. My year is up :( I'm going to be patient and wait and see.

I've been reading all your posts and glad you all are doing so well. Keep it up!!

Here's to a good week of exercise and good, healthy eating!!!

Doing So Much Better!!!

Well since starting some solids, I've discovered that I do in fact have no restriction at all with the small fill i have. I can eat everything I've tried with no problems and seem to be able to eat a lot. I've been trying to stop myself, but after not being able to eat for over a month, i'm afraid i've gone a little bit overboard and now I really need to get back on the wagon and control myself and get back into exercise. I was doing so well with exercise and then when my bloating gassy thing started, it was a bit painful to do most exercise, so I stopped.

Oh, an you know that bloating gassy thing that I was thinking might be my gallbladder or something major? Well the fiber helped, it took like a week before I became regular and since then, I've been very regular and am able to pass my gas easily (hubby says a little too easily) and I'm not all uncomfortable anymore. I think it has helped that i've started eating a little more normally to. I was looking at what my fiber intake must have been when I was relying solely on protein drinks and not adding the fiber and it was a 0. Even on my preop diet I would have a very lo cal meal at dinner which gave me some fiber. The last month or so, I've had "0" fiber and that is about when my problems arrised. Also, I did two of those Barrium Swallow x-rays and when I did the second one, they reminded me to drink a lot of fluid or it will harden in my intestines. I didn't know this the first time around and wasn't concentrating on how much water I was drinking (probably not enough). Anywhoo, I am going to continue with my current routine of adding fiber to my diet. I do two scoops of Ground Flax Seed in my morning coffee protein drink (4 gms), then during the day I add a packet of the south beach drink stuff (5 gms) and then I take two Benefiber tablets (4 gms) and i've been making sure I drink at least 64 oz. of water every day. I haven't had those pains in about a week. Yeah!!! I feel like a normal person for the first time in like months. Double Yeah!!!

I am afraid to step on the scale the way I've been eating, but I'm going to work real hard to maintain the way I am right now. Again, I'm so thankful to still have my band!!! Triple Yeah!!

Happy Baniversary!!!

Well yesterday was my one year baniversay!! Yeah!!! And my band is still with me which I am so thankful!!

As I reflect on the past year I feel it was the best decision I have made and really wish I would have done it sooner!! I have had some ups and downs as you all know with my band, but I would do it all over again if I had to make that choice. The only thing I would have done differently is to not be so greedy on fills and maybe I wouldn't have slipped had I not got too tight.

I am so grateful that I accomplished the goal I set out for when I started this journey and I'm very happy with myself and the way my body looks now. It's not perfect, but I don't need to be perfect. I've had two kids and my body will never be as it was when I was a young girl, but I'm so thrilled with it even with all the imperfections. I would love to eventually get a brest lift and tummy tuck, but not in too big a hurry for that. If it happens, it happens.

As for my current situation, I've started eating more solid foods without a problem. Restriction is minimal, but it's enough for now. If I can maintain, i'm going to leave it as is. I've lost the 4 or 5 pounds I gained after the holidays and am back at goal and happy. I have no signs of a slipped band anymore, no acid reflux and such. I complained of pain in my stomach and intestines, so I started doing a lot of fiber and it has gotten much better. I think the introduction of more solid foods and getting in enough fiber has helped tremendously. We'll see how it goes, i'm going to keep focusing on this. I've stopped with the smooth move tea and my plumming (if you know what i mean) is getting back to normal again. I think protein shakes probably are bad for constipation especially since there is literally no fiber at all and that is all i was doing for many weeks, so I can understand why I was having some trouble in this area.

I'm going to focus on eating good and living life and keeping my current weight.

Have a great week everyone.

Poop!!!

As you can tell from the title of this post, I'm going to be talking about one of us banders favorite subject poop!!!

I've been complaining about problems with pain and discomfort in my abdomen area and I mentioned it to my Band Dr. He kind of smiled as I listed all my complaints as if i am a Hypochondriac. I just want him to know so he can help me. I mentioned the Gallbladder and Constipation. It's so hard to know what normal BM's are when I've been drinking a ton of protein shakes and not much food. You know what I mean?? My problems started right after my band was loosened and I was drinking liquids and then moved into a few mushies.

Also, I must admit, before the slip, I would depend on drinking smooth move tea a couple times a week to help with BM's. I might have caused some problems with dependency on a type of laxative?? IDK if tea counts as a laxative???

Anyway, since my last appt. I've been putting flax seed in two of my shakes a day and taking a stool softener (Dr said try stool softener) every day and, of course, getting in my 64 oz. of water every day. I decided I'd rule out the poop thing and if I still have problems then move on to the Gallbladder. Sounds like a good plan huh?

Well, I've been working on this for oh, about 3 days now and not drinking that tea, and last night, I was much better and hope it continues to get better!!!

Sorry if that was TMI as for the scale, it's going back down as it should, I'm starving here, living on protein drinks and soup broths yuck!!! But just so glad my good old band is back!!

My band went back in place....Thank God!!

I went to the Dr. yesterday and my band went back into the correct position. Yeah!! I was so scared going in for this appointment and so relieved when I walked out of there.

After looking at the placement he said that it would be okay to get a small fill. He wanted to make me tight and back off a cc. I told him I was scared to take too much fill and asked how much he took out last visit when he completly deflated my band and he said 7.5 cc. When I went back and calculated my fills and defills I thought I was at 5.5. I can never get it straight. It's never quite what I think it is. As he was filling me I kept asking how much is that? How much is that? He laughed and said don't worry about the number, worry about the feeling. I'm sorry, the number is pretty important right?? If 7.5 cc was a slip, I would think considerable less than that, I can always get more right??

We wound up puttin gin 3.5 cc. I felt good about that, but still a little warry of whats to come. What if I slip again?? What if, what if?? Did I mention I'm a worry wart? Anyway, I said if I feel any acid reflux I'm coming in for another unfill.

He said I need to stay this way for a month or two. I'm hoping I don't need to go back at all. I've changed the way I feel about my band (for today that is, lets see if I'm saying the same thing a month from now right?) I am happy with my weight at 160 (I went back to 160 by the way) I just want my band to help me maintain now. If I loose more, even better, but I don't want complete restriction. I want to be able to eat things I want to just less.

Doctor didn't say anything about my diet, but I'm going to do what a lot of people seem to do and stay on liquids for a couple weeks, move on to mushies when I feel ready and take it really, really, really slow.

So here is my next hurdle. My band is good and has a small fill, but I still have this uncomforableness, gas, constipation (sorry tmi), bloating and slight pains. Doctor said it may be constipation, and possible Gallbladder. If it doesn't get better, I will need to go to my regular doctor who wasn't happy I was getting the Lap Band in the first place, and have all this stuff looked into. I'm going to try to get the constipation under control and see if it helps and if not, I'm going to need to go get some tests done.

I'm so thrilled that my band went back. Thanks to everyone who helped me through this tough time and I hope it's done forever.

Out Of Control!!!

That's right folk...my eating is out of control and it's a little scary!!

The good thing about that is that I'm hoping and praying my band is back in place and wide, wide open...

The bad thing is I'm so hungry....I'm eating a lot...I feel bloated and the scale is creeping up a bit. I need to get control of my eating. I was doing so good just eating mushie items, but tried some solids and everything felt fine, so i kind of created a monster.

I've been exercising real good this week and feeling much better health wise since exercising. Still feeling like something might be going on with Gallbladder as I have strange little pains in strange places. It's really hard to decipher what is wrong with you when you have the band because i'm always afraid something is going wrong and then I think do I go to band Dr. or Regular Dr. You know what I mean?? I also think that I over analyze every ache and pain especially since finding out my band slipped. Anyway, I am feeling much better and very hopeful that this Tues will bring good results from the Dr. I'm crossing my fingers, toes and anything else I can cross.

Have a good week.

Me Again!!!

Hi everyone. I know it seems I always have something wrong with me. I'm really not a hypochondriac, really.

So, I've been eating mushie foods here and there, but taking it real easy. I managed to gain a couple pounds, which I'm not too happy about. Everything seems to pass through my band fine and I can drink water a fluids really good. I can chug about 1/2 bottle of water at one time. I still haven't experienced Acid Reflux since my unfill. I keep thinking that is so good and something positive to thinking things might be okay.

But here is where I have a problem. I have like an ache in my stomach, right above my belly button that is pretty constant (level 2 on a scale from 1 to 10). I've had this for a really long time and always thought it was being too tight. After I eat, particularly in the evening, my upper stomach gets terrible uncomfortable gas pains and then can go into my lower stomach. I think the soreness in my stomach is from these gas pains. It's really strong under my rib cage and once I pass gas (which isn't easy to do)it subsides. At times I feel like my upper and sometimes lower stomach are a balloon blowing up and it is going to pop. It's a lot of pressure and then soreness from the pressure. Gasex doesn't help, nothing helps. My bra gets uncomfortable and sometimes a warm bath will sooth it. Well, I remember my doctor once saying that it could be my gallbladder, I dismissed it and never got it checked out (my bad) as it doesn't run in my family and I really don't know that much about it.

Well, I decided to do a little research last night and come to find out, my symptoms seem to be the same symptoms as Gallbladder attacks and also, come to find out, gallbladder issues can be caused from rapid weight loss and a lot of bandsters have to have their gallbladders removed. I never knew this and am beginning to think this uncomfortableness I'm feeling are gallbladder attacks.

Does everyone still have their gallbladders??? Has anyone heard of having gallbladder issues due to rapid weight loss??? Does anyone else ever get these attacks??? If you've had gallbladder problems can you tell me how it felt???

I have my appt on the 12th and will talk to the doctor more about this then.

Happy New Year!!

Well this year has been a really wonderful year for me and a life changing year. Got the lap band which helped get me to my goal weight of 160. I feel so much better about myself and so much more confidant. I actually like the way I look when I look in the mirror and I haven't been able to say that since I was like 16 years old.

As far as my band goes for now, nothing much new other than I feel a lot of gas build up right now. Does anyone experience this??? especially at night I feel like the upper and lower part of my stomach is bloated and filling with air and it just doesn't come out easily (sorry if TMI). Once I lay down and relax some gas might come out and I feel relief until it builds again. Sometimes my stomach feels sore I think from all the pressure. Doesn't seem like it should be this way, which makes me worry that my band might still be slipped. I am a bit tight right now too, no acid reflux, but I feel tight. I'm about to have my monthly friend stop by for a visit, but also remember I have no fill in my band, so shouldn't be like this. IDK...just hoping I don't have any emergencies over this Holiday Weekend.

Having an emergency is a big fear of mine.....what would I do??? I asked the Dr. what would constitute an emergency and he said extreme pain and more importantly not being able to drink liquids. I guess I would have to go into the hospital and have an IV until my Dr. could get there.....and probably not covered by my insurance. Scary, but not the situation right now, so here's to hoping everything goes okay until the 12th when I find out where my band has settled....

Anyway, I hope this New Year brings control to my life. Whether I have my band or loose it, I hope I can control myself and keep the weight I am at. I hope to increase my exercise and I look forward to feeling good and being healthy. Winning the Lottery would be nice too, however, just being healthy and keeping my weight as it is would be what I hope to accomplish this year.